Stress and anxiety.

Anxiety is something I have dealt with throughout my life, in a previous post I wrote about how when I was younger it was called my "nervous tummy". At this time me and my parents had no idea what was actually affecting me and why. 

Holidays have always been a difficult time for me, my anxiety would be high causing both physical and mental stress. It would be at its peak on the first couple days to the point that if someone offered me a way home I would have taken it in a second. I was often emotional and didn't really want to join in with anything my family was doing. Physically as well I would become ill, I would loose my appetite and feel sick and often refuse to eat this often lead to us going to the doctors to find out what was wrong, when in reality my anxiety was just really high. Often after a couple days my anxiety would reduce and I would be able to enjoy the holiday.

This is all normal. And is often something I had to remind people when they questioned why I was not enjoying myself.

Another thing that caused me high anxiety was my GCSE's. I was one of the two years where I didn't actually complete the actual exams. However I had two sets of mocks which in turn went towards my end grades. 

For those who don't know for most people they complete GCSE's ending up with 9 grades, 5 in core subjects (English, maths, and the sciences) and then 4 in subjects they have picked. Some however complete more those who did triple science will end up with 10 instead. 

For most subjects there are multiple tests with some lie have having up to three different tests. GCSE's last over a couple weeks where you can have either 0, 1 or 2 on each day. 

I was in year 11 in 2020-2021 and had mocks in December and April. When I started in December I was feeling fine the first couple days I was anxiety free and confident towards the exams. On the 3rd day this changed, I woke up feeling sick and had a panic attack on the way down to the bus stop to get my school bus. I walked back home in tears feeling really sick and really not wanting to go in. I got back home not really understanding what was going on and had to be calmed down by my mum, when I was calmer she offered to drive me in. That day onwards that was how every morning went, I was having panic attacks every morning and struggling to eat throughout the day, I was going to bed feeling anxious and dreading the next day of tests. It was a very difficult couple of weeks for me and my parents and I was more than relived when it finished however it took a couple days to get back to being a more content me. 

Leading up to my next set of exams I was trying to prepare myself for what was to come, reassuring myself that I was going to be okay as I had passed all of them the first time round. However it didn't work and I had another two weeks of not eating very well and having panic attacks.

This is not something I would wish on anyone. 

-Don't keep in how your feeling talk to those around you, if it helps tell the school how your feeling to see if there are any adaptations that can be done to even make you feel 10% better I wish I had. 

-If you also struggle with eating when feeling anxious due to the nausea remember little and often, this reduces the pressure on you but keeps your calorie intake high. 

-Take each hour as it comes, I know it's hard but try to stop worrying about tomorrow try to think about what's happening in the next hour.

-be kind to you, if you don't want to do any revision during exam weeks don't, I didn't and it didn't affect my grades at the end at all. Going through my revision cards was stressing me out and making me feel like I didn't know anything (that wasn't true) If it helps stop all revision the week before.

-Be kind to you, if you have days where you have no exams or have a half day due to only having one exam then take time for you. Have a bath, watch your favourite tv show, do something that is going to take your mind off the anxiety.

-Have something to look forward to at the end of it, this could be a dinner with your friends or a shopping trip. Something that you'll be excited to do and will get you through each week.

Nowadays the anxiety doesn't get to me as much, I have found my ways of combating it and trying to protect myself. However this takes time and trial and error is key.

Any further questions on anxiety and how I have coped I am more than happy to answer as I know how bad it can get. Just leave send me a message on my blog or a DM on my instagram.

Au revoir

Zoe